How much is too much?

Sometimes we just want to be everyone darlings, are we not?

We want to be accepted

We want to stay as good as possible

We want to be perfect

In order to be loved by everyone, we often forgot,

We often forgot that we are just as tiny as a little dust in this galaxy.

We oven search for perfections while imperfections are normal and that is just, being human.

We made mistakes

We made errors

We took the wrong turns

And just remember;

We can not please everybody

There will be that one person who will dislike you (I don't want to use the word "hate", that's too harsh) but what I'm saying is true.

No matter what you have done, whether is good or bad, there will always a person who dislike you or doesn't care about you.

And that's normal.

That's being human.

Question is, will you start being human to yourself?

Will you going on yourself a little bit easy?

Life is indeed precious and what I learned from this social media era is, the freedom of speech is way too much.

Too much that it is okay for us to please everyone while in the inside we are hurting.

Too much that it is normal for us to bully people, judge them, eventhough we barely know the truth.

But how much is too much? 

When the too much is being a burden to us, will that be okay for us to stay in order to be "accepted"?

Just my two cents 💔

Breastfeeding momma!

Talking about another blessings, Im so blessed that God allows me to produce enough milk for my baby.

But that process was never an easy peasy process, well as for me. 

My newborn baby, he was so small!

There are so many moms out there, knowing that I still breastfeed my son at 15months, were amazed and asking me, how to produce enough milk for him? 

Well be prepared to have such a rollercoaster breastfeeding journey Im about to share now.

I don't have a lot of milk that some of the women have. So that you could store up the milk in the freezer, I dont have milk that much.

My son was not able to latch on me properly until he was 2,5months, that means during the first 2,5 months my nipples were cracking, I was so much in pain seeing him unable to latch on me and I have to squeeze my breast so that the milk will go straight into his mouth, days and night, for 2,5 months.

During the "crazy" breastfeeding process 😂

There are times I have to pump because the milk made my breast gorging, and it was so painful because my son couldn't suck it and it got stucked in my breast, but when I pumped it out, my milk was all pink because of my cracked and bleeding nipples.

Not to mention when the growth spurt moment came (will share about the growth spurt in details in another post), my son will ask for nursing soooo oftenly. It could be anytime; daytime, nighttime, or even late at night. And he will nurse, and nurse, and poo, and pee, and vomit, and doing the same cycle over and over again. No sleeping (or eating) time for me. 😂

I'm a Milk Monsta!😂

And after 2,5months, Im finally able to cope with his "no-timetable" nursing time, and finally he was able to nurse and latch on me properly. I was so happy! Until another problem came, the teething and biting time! Everytime the teething time began, he will bite, literally bite my nipple until it cracked (again) and swollen 😂 but I'm already getting the hang of it so it's fine 😂

Yeah son, you better bite on that cot, not on mom's nipple!😩

And before I knew, I already breastfeed him for 15months and I think I will be doing this for like, hopefully until 2 years or so.

A tips for me for a successful breastfeeding journey:

1. Commitment

Breastfeeding requires time and commitment. It is time consuming and without any commitment, you may kill your child, lol. Im being serious here. Your baby will nurse, and pee, and poo during growth spurt time and you may not get enough rest, and by breastfeeding means you will not have a free time because the milk is in you. 

So whenever your baby needs you, you gotta be around. I stick with my son like whenever he needs me, my breasts are always ready! It's like having a 24hours fastfood buffet around 😂

PS: NEVER TRUST IN BREASTPUMP! sometimes at daytime I only able to pump "just" 80ml both sides but when I let my son latch on me himself, he wet his nappies a lot a lot and a lot and there's no sign of dehydration and he is weighing a lot so I assume my breastmilk is enough for him.

My son's face while sleeping, the sign of getting enough "Mamamilk😂"

2. Food Allergies?

If your baby is prone to allergy or very sensitive, you may have to cancel on eating the food you love as it may cause uneasy process in the baby skin or stomacth, a.e seafood or nuts produce, but the good news is, the allergies will getting better the older your babies are. And to those allergy babies, breastmilk are still way better for them. I will explain about this things in detail later on.

3. Supportive People

In order to have a successful breastfeeding process, you have to rely on support from your husband, parents, families, friends and as for me, MR.GOOGLE. Is my bestfriend lol😂

Because I grow up in a family that known a little information about the breastfeeding things. My husband and my parents, even my in laws are oftenly asking me on giving up in breastfeeding and just formula-fed my son.

Thank God I didnot give up, because God knows how much money I have spent until now If I gave up breastfeeding then 😂.

So if you feel uncertain about something you can just ask the one that you know that they know about breastfeeding, or calling the Lactation Hospital Support like  these:

Or you can just click here for more details : 

http://id.theasianparent.com/daftar-klinik-laktasi-di-indonesia/

And nowadays there are so many support groups online that you can find such as; 

http://aimi-asi.org/

http://mommiesdaily.com/2011/06/03/support-group-ibu-menyusui-kasih-ibu/

4. Have Faith in your Breast lol

You will find many people and web telling you to eat a lot of food, avoiding certain foods, and be happy and stress free in order to produce lost of milk.

Well, I kinda opposed to that because I had a babyblues on my first month, on the confinement period. I cried and cried everyday. I was not ready of the breastfeeding and feeling helpless because no one knows about it in details yet the milk still came lol. So it's totally bullsh*t for saying that producing breastmilk should take a hard process.

I forgot where I read the news but the women in a poor country, even they barely eat, they can still produce breastmilk for their babies. So no whining start trying lol.

Long story short, there was never an easy peasy process that will develop such great ending. You have to try and fall and try and fall and try again to get up. Breastfeeding requires your tears, and pains and all the dramas but believe me, at 15months, my son is able to latch on me while smiling and hugging me and looking at me tenderly and I realized that I did not make the wrong choice.

Again, breastfeeding is a choice. Is not something that make me a better mom for breastfeeding my son, No. I'm sharing my experienced and opinions, and if it doesn't fit your story and your life then it's okay. If you can't breastfeed your child it's also okay. Most importantly, never give up in trying and giving the best to our child, no matter what. 

Me, my husband and my son were celebrating our wedding anniversary just a while ago

I guess this is comeback?

After such a long time no blogging, I guess it's safe for me to say that this is a comeback. Im acting all mighty I know 😂

And knowing that my last post is on 26th April 2013, things have gone way far in my life.

I still remember back then, I wrote a post about whether I should or should not having a baby, and now I'm blessed enough to have a baby on my own.

Say hello to Francis Exton Ozora !!❤️

He is 15months by now, healthy and happy and turning my whole world literally upside down by every bit of his actions 😂

And hopefully this post will lead to many post from now ❤️

 

Catch ya later!❤️

Just a simple thoughts about life

Nobody knows what our path will be in our life.

Life is a series of both fortunate and unfortunate events we must face on our own.

In life, I met you, and you and you.

Together we conquer all the hardships in front of us, as a lover, as friends, as families, or simply just a stranger met by a coincidence.

But whatever our path will be, we still do not know our destiny.

Will we die today?
Or tomorrow?

Let live our life to the fullest.
Live like you'll die today.

Taken from kelly <3

"There's a place that I know
it's not pretty there and few have ever gone
if I show it to you now
will it make you run away?



or will you stay?
even if it hurts
even if I try to push you out
will you return?
and remind me who I really am
please remind me who I really am



everybody's got a dark side
do you love me?
can you love mine?
nobody's a picture perfect
but we're worth it
you know that we're worth it


will you love me?
even with my dark side?



like a diamond
from black dust
it's hard to know
what can become
If you give up
so don't give up on me
please remind me who i really am



everybody's got a dark side
do you love me?
can you love mine?
nobody's a picture perfect
but we're worth it
you know that we're worth it



will you love me?
even with my dark side?



don't run away
don't run away
just tell me that you will stay
promise me you will stay.."

Javana bistro

Actually, this is the zillionth time ive been here, in Paris van Java.


Okay im just being super exagerrating.


But seriously, since this is the only one fabulous plaza/ mall in the small lovely Bandung city, well as for me.

And I love to hang out just to enjoy the day, spending my pennies or just simply dine out. Like what im doing now.

There are bunch of eateries here and most of them are uniques in their own way, both in the design and the uniqueness of the food garnish and also, on top of it, their hard work in fullfilling our hungry tummy and high expectation in choosing their place.

This time, after passing this place, twice, me and my hubby decided to stop by at Javana Bistro.

Well, the place is a comfy one, with a bar area on the left side and they have two choices of dining area: inside and outside. As for me, both are the same since they shared the same air. The air con doesnt seem to work properly inside.

Well, nuff saying, let's hit the plate!

We ordered "Chicken Solverino" and "Honey Glazed Salmon" for our lunch and the sweet "Es Sekolah ala Javana" dessert for the closing.

Well..


After the nom-nom-ing...


I have to say I love, really2 love the chicken. For the price of 47k, they give you two (yeah two) quite big slice of the chicken fillet, covered in melted cheese + juicy tomato sauce. At the base side of the chicken, there are sort of grilled vegetables but unfortunately they are a biiiit overcooked, but overall this food is a A taste for me.


As for the honey glazed salmon, for the price of 75k, the salmon is, well, too small! :(. Apart from the good taste, i'd rather order some from the other place that offer the same / lower price but the size is bigger. Well size DOES matter :P. But if you fancy trying the way they served the crispy salmon skin and the sweet honey taste, go choose this one.


Last but not forgotten, the signature "Es Sekolah ala Javana". Why Es Sekolah? I dont know. Perhaps they want this dessert to remind us about our sophomore years or so but this one is a total failure. I found two ice cubes inside the one so called ice cream that makes the taste go sweet-less. Too bad. I was expecting more of this one, though, since I'm a sweettooth :B


Well anyway, im not a food bloggie but i recommend you this place since they have a good hospitality, and a nice ambience and a nice food as well.

Happy Sunday!

Baby on board?

Having a decision of having a baby is kind of principal. It is not something you could decide so easily.

As for myself, i have to admit a little bit of myself wanting to have a baby while a huge part of myself screaming that I am not ready yet.

While actually, this has been a burden for me since I have been married for a year and yet, my parents, grandparents and in laws have questioning the same old questions over and over again.

*sigh*

For me, having a baby is not a simple thing to do. You have to think and decide precisely about almost every aspects in your life, since you will be welcoming a new member of the family in your life.

You also need an adaptation. Start thinkig about what your child needs or wants in your home or in short: your daily environment have to be adjusted. You have to share your own comfort zone with your child.

*another sigh*

Well..


Someday, I promise to myself, I will be a loving mom to my children. When that time comes, it could be this year or next year or so, I hopefully will be ready.

Moving On

It is hard to move on from something we used to do or to be. Whether a habit or a heartbreak, moving on takes time and a great deal of acceptance.

I couldn't just simply say "move on! It's easy" and stuff coz I know it is not.

So for anyone of you who happen to read my blog right now and is experiencing the moving on process, there will be a time. The time when you are finally able to forgive and to forget for what has happened, learn to accept the fact as it is and finally you will be rewarded for your bravery of moving on:

A brand new, stronger you.

Until that time, my friend, my prayers and thoughts are with you =)

Happy 2013!!!

Hello happy people! How you guys all doing? I have to admit that I have abandoned my blog since November last year, well...

I don't want to blame my laziness in opening the computer-editing my fonts-pictures and stuff (oh well I have to admit I AM lazy). And not to mention the iStore provides me huge deal of many social sharing apps like Path, Instagram, Eyeem, and so on that make my laziness level rise each days.

However, I just want to greet you all a happy new year!! Since the end of the world is being postponed, why don't we start over our wishes and propose them into actions?

Stay happy and stay healthy!

My Life and those around me =)

Hi Hello!

I hope It's not too late for an introduction here x_x

This is me trying to give my best pose ;P

Full name: Elizabeth Angela Desyana
(Ellie in short ;))
DOB: 30/12/1987 (They say looks can be deceiving but I'm still 25 this year!)
Location: mainly in Jakarta, Indonesia ;)
Degree: Bachelor in Communication from LSPR =)
Status: a newly wife with no kids yet :P

This is my white-horse husband, Mr. DJ =)

Here are some pictures from my circle of life :):

• Family

Left to right: my brother, mr.DJ, me,
my granny, my gramps, my mom and my old man :)

What can I say about my family? They are truly the best. If I can give them award, I give them the most supportive, friendly family of the entire light-years =).

• My Best Girls

Gotarter!  ;P (left to right: olin, vivi,anin, icha,ucil, tinb aaand me!)

 

me and adella =)

me and angela =)

me and gracey =)

left to right: Yovi, tata and me =)

It's true that I have a lot of friends, but these pictures above shown my true best friends that always support me, be there whenever I needed them and vice versa aand say harsh advices when it is needed for me to be better and never leave even in my worst situations =)

In a very simple words, I consider myself as a lucky lady who always have great laughs that leads into a great life. It's all because of my beloved people around me. I truly thank God for them =)

Otomeeeee games!

There are times when people are experiencing such a dull situations in life. That moment when you just want to escape the world.


I had that moments as well.


I usually have my way of sweet escape thanks to an Iphone application that developed by Voltage Inc.


Say hello to otome games!!! \(xvx)/


What is otome game anyway?


"An otome game (乙女ゲーム otome gēmu?, lit. "maiden game") is a video game that is targeted towards a female market, where one of the main goals, besides the plot goal, is to develop a romantic relationship between the female player character and one of several male characters. This genre is most established in Japan, and is generally made up of visual novels and simulation games (particularly dating sims)." (wikipedia.com)


In short, it's basically a perfect game for an otaku like me! :P


I love reading mangas (japanese comics) and have tonsss of mangas in my home so playing an otome games is like seeing a little girl kinda dreams came true :P.


And the people from Voltage Inc. surely know how to pampered and make the best use of the credit card of their female otaku user. *le sigh*


Anyway! They have released 5 English subtitled otome games so far; Pirates in Love, Seduced in Sleepless City, In Your Arms Tonight, Be My Princess and My Forged Wedding.


Each title comes along with 6 choices of kakoii (handsome/cute) japanese man for us to experience their story.


They also included an epilogue, spin-off and sequel for each character. As always, when there is a happiness, there's money to pay (duh!). You have to pay 3.99 USD for each main story of each character, 2.99 USD for the epilogue/sequel, 1.99 USD for the spin-off.


So let say you want to buy the "My Forged Wedding" title, with a choice of 6 characters you have to purchase with an amount of 3.99 USD x 6 : 23.94 USD x_x (I can't believe I have spent THAT much for myself If i didnt do the math here. Freaking amazing)


Anyway, eventho it's such a big amount, for those otome lovers and otaku out there (especially for female and Iphone/Android users) this one is surely not to miss!

You can also check their FB page: Voltage Romance Sims

Happy hunting :P

a glimpse of Singapore thru my eyes :)

Many people have come here, either for shopping spree (most people I asked mentioned Orchard Road,Bugis Street and Haji Lane as their main reasons), food lovers, gambling (since their opening in 2010, Marina Bay Sands attract people, usually men, in using this reason to go here), play time (for the Universal Studio Singapore and Sentosa Island), family time (Jurong Bird Park, Botanical Garden and the latest opening of Gardens By The Bay), arts lovers (museums, cultural thingy: Chinatown, Malay Village, Little India), medical reasons aaand many more.

A lot of my friends and families have asked me a lot of questions about this country, since me and my loved ones got the chance to visit this country for a lot of times. (a friend of mine ever wondered why I love visiting Singapore so much :D)

Well actually, I do love Singapore. I plan to live there someday, probly on my retire days :P. I even chose Singapore as my honeymoon place :D. My best friend named Adella also stay here and I envy her so much! :P

Me and Adel :)

I love the way they keep their country clean and safe. I have to admit, I am quite the Global Warming activist. I do the  3R (reduce, reuse, recycle) in my everyday life. We also know that the level of crime in Singapore is low. I always feel safe in Singapore even at night :).

I love the uniqueness in their food. Here are some of my faves; their fried mussels kwey teao, fried bee-hoon, yong tew foo, oyster omellete, grilled chicken wings, beef/chicken satay, mee pok,chicken+saba fish, and for those who allow to eat non-halal food, the pork is another delicacy to enjoy :)

I loove their transportations so much! Most of my times in Singapore, i rarely found any traffic jams, because there are not so many cars (due to the high taxation for the owners). Their buses, taxis, and MRTs are the best. Singapore is not so big, thats why it is easy for you to travel through one place to another.

MRT map. Took it around 2010

I also love their tourist attractions like Marina Bay Sands (love their architecture so much!), Universal Studio (everybody's a child at hearts :)), Gardens by The Bay, Jurong Bird Park, Singapore Science Centre, red Dot Museums, Sentosa Island, Chinatown, Little India,Orchard Road, Bugis Street, Clarke Quay, what else? Singapore just got too many :)

My beloved family and me in front of Resort World Casino

There are also a lot of events that's attract people to come visit each and every year like the music festivals, Zouk, F1 race, Christmas event, Halloween event, Chinese New Year,  and for the Indonesian people time to visit Singapore is mainly on Eid Al Fitr holiday and school summer holiday. How I love holidays!:P

Michael Buble Concert in Singapore 2011

Halloween Time with my besties at Universal Studio in 2012

Christmas at ION Orchard 2010

This year on Dec, I have already bought a plane ticket to go back there again (I know what you guys are thinking xD) with my big family but I think next year I have to spend my money wisely and go to another place If the fate allows me to. Since the SGD currency is getting higher compare to Rupiah, duh! 

See you again pretty soon, Singapore! :P

Garlic Madness! Vampire go away :P

I love to eat :P
And I get fat easily, duh!


But still, if i get a lot of cash in my hands, I probly will spend it mostly on foods and books. :P


I'd like to share my experience of dining at Mad for Garlic, Grand Indonesia.


The place is best known for garlic lover bcs all foods are mainly cooked using garlic as a main ingredient! Heaven!!


Blame my absent-minded habit, I didn't remember the name I ordered x_x, but If you guys would like to order as well the same food as mine, you guys may show these pictures to the waiter/waitress. They surely will know :D

The white mussels bla bla bla, cooked with mayo+cheese+garlic I assumed, perfecto!

The blablah pizza with generous amount of shrimps, small-bite sized pineapple and cheese, just kill me if you couldnt find it on the menu, kay?

Oh Hello Mr. Bond!

Last night I had the chance to see the phenomenal 50 years of James Bond movie, Skyfall. It marks the total 23 of Mr. Bond series on screen.


It
Was
AWESOME!!!
*Please note that all in capitals, thankyou :)*


The suspense, thriller, mystery, action and even drama was all being delivered perfectly. And what I love the most is the way they delivered each scenes (may contains a lil bit spoilers): from the busy alley of Istanbul, to the beautiful night view in Shanghai. From the mighty lanterns in Macau to the calm and soothing village in Scotland. Hats off to Sam Mendes!


Anyway that Craig, he is surely still has a hot bod at 44. Such a wine he is, the older the better :P


Im not a great movie reviewer like those in Rotten Tomatoes but I can guarantee you this one is the cream of the crop. Happy weekends! 

Image courtesy from Google images

Damn you expectations!

Sometimes,
Turned out that many things happened not exactly the same as what we have been expecting.


The situations that make you just wanna scream FFUUUUU so damn loud.


Happened to me several times in my life. Sometimes it broke my heart the most aaand usually I always find "excuses" to stay a little while in my comfort zone area in order to "recuperate".


Humans tend to give up easily after losing their expectations. *sigh*


well..


I guess, that's fine, for a while..


As long as you keep your logic in mind, and not allowing yourself to get carried away by the "ow-pity me" situations all the time.


I usually do ask these questions to myself. You guys can try it too;


-"how old are you?"
yaya im still 24 on the go. Meaning, I still got a looong, superloong way to make better plans. (well if you're already 50 something you also still have a long way tho, who knows? Probly you have an age of a turtle? :P)


-"why the problem is so worth your tears and efforts?"
well I usually examine the pluses and minuses. Sometimes when we expect something so badly, it's often our mind who works, not our logic.


-"what do you get from wheening?"
Damn right people attentions I got! After that? None. It never make me stronger or whatsoever. Only you, yourself and your mind able to do it :)


Sooooo..

Get back!

Bring it on! *words to myself*

Aaaand smilee :D

stonepath in hierapolis, turkey

Forbidden love story (oh no!)

Once upon a time
In a kingdom far far away
There was a princess
With an average face

She is not tall
She is not blonde
She has no fair korean-like skin
She is just an average

However,

Everytime she smiles
There are sparkles
That will make everyone
Glowing in happiness

And her pure heart
See and hear no evil
Speak no evil
She is not an evil as well!

Anyway,

There was one prince
From far away kingdom
He is not handsome
Just, as average as her

But,

The prince' eyes are calming
Soothing like deep blue seas
And his gentle voices
Calming like the great oceans

As expected
The princess fell in love
Deeply with the prince
From hearing his voice
When calling her name

Oh,
The princess already
Have a lover!
A final decision lover
Chosen by the mighty King and Queen

The princess know
It is almost impossible
With the engagement ring
On her tiny finger

She
Starts
Thinking!!

What to do, what to do
She loves her lover
But deep inside
She knows the prince
Is made for her!

Or does he made for her?

The princess realizes
They live far faraway! -as stated above-
It is never
Ever possible

And yet
The clock is still ticking
The night is still young

Maybe
The princess will wait
And leave it all
To their fate

Happy ending?
Still on the way :)

(image courtesy from www.kevinspear.com)

A fresh start :)

How a simple yet thoughtful action could actually make you do something :)

I love writing. I have written many fantasy or either kinda love stories or even poems since I was on my elementary sch. From the diary, into the papers and finally Ms. Word. :P


I dunno why for the past years I kinda "lost" my passion in writings.


Many people; my teacher, my bestfriends, even just a regular friends have told me (or reminded me) to get back to this world, the world I used to love the most.


And just now, my lovely brother just post a comment on my Facebook notes (by the way it was a 4yrs ago kind of note) and he asked me to start writing again. This time in a blog.


So here I am, trying to get started. To find my lost love back. Hopefully, you guys will enjoy it as well.

Let's get lost together with me  <3 

P.S thankyou kurisuh :*

Me, at the bank side of the river, somewhere inTurkey :)